I really don't have a solid topic for this blog post, but I really want to post, so it's going to be a little random "what's happening" here at BeBe Babies.
It was my birthday on Saturday and I turned 32. Birthdays don't mean much to me other than to remind me that my biological clock is ticking. This is complicated for many reasons as I am still not ready to have children for mostly situational reasons, but also financial ones. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe when I think about it, so I try not to.
I can't get by today without telling you that someone I love very much was recently diagnosed with a discouraging mental illness. Mental illness runs strong in my family. I myself have battled depression in the past, and anxiety in the past, present and assumed future. When I sat down and checked my notebook for blog post topics I found that the only two ideas I haven't posted revolved heavily around my problems with anxiety. Due to my emotions today I didn't feel I could write an upbeat post related to business. Sometimes I feel like everywhere I look I see mental illness. Sometimes I feel like we are all crazy. Sometimes I feel submersed in it.
In my opinion, and experience, mental illness requires intervention only when we cannot support ourselves by performing basic human expectations; working, eating, sleeping, general happiness. I don't know if it's easier to have a mental illness, or watch someone you love battle with it, but today I think the hardest thing is feeling helpless to stop it.
I'm having a hard time finding a balance with my business. While I love the business side of doll making I find myself unable to force the self discipline on myself that is required to really make it grow. I get stuck feeling the pressure to complete dolls, so that I have money coming in, as well as taking time out to do all the online stuff I need to do to make the business grow.
Recently I had the idea to write a financial plan to determine what it is I need to do to earn enough money from dolls to work at it full time. What I decided was that I need to be making enough products per week to replace the income I make now. The realization that I came to though was that I most definitely cannot make that many dolls on my own. Even if I didn't have another job, and I sewed all day from sun up to sun down, I could never make enough. I see two options:
This is a viable idea I have been contemplating for a long time. I finally received my financial records from the US and have entered them all in the computer so I am ready to approach investors and manufacturers. Honestly though I don't know where to start. And then I thought about another idea...
2. Hiring Sewers
Mexico is full of women who know how to sew and need to make an extra income for their families. My plan right now is to hire someone here, who I can train and can work with me right here in my home. This is sounding like a much better idea for me as it is still difficult for me to lose the hands-on control I would like to have with my dolls.
The plan now is to get my patterns organized, come up with an hourly wage, find stores willing to carry my dolls (and support the stock I will be producing), set up a better sewing area, and advertise to hire someone. It's a lot to plan.
I hope to share the process with you as I go but for now I'm going to turn back to sewing, as it is one of the only things that calms the anxiety bubbling within...