"Well Case?" my Dad said mockingly.
I don't remember what I said back but we turned and walked away. My Dad giggled triumphantly.
"At least I thought about it" I said.
I didn't know at the moment that I would remember that sentence for the rest of my life. There's nothing else I remember about the year I was 9 years old but my Dad never let me forget what I said that day. Christmas dinners, my birthday, he will recant that story. In a bad imitation of a 9 year old he will say, "At least I thought about it."
When I sat down to write about fear it is the only story that came to mind.
I have a lot of fears. I use excuses to hide them. I don't have enough time, knowledge, talent or popularity is what I think, but really I'm just afraid. Many of the things I'm afraid of are holding me back in my business. Here are a few:
I used to think I didn't blog because I didn't have time, but then I read this post. Now I realize I don't blog because I am afraid to be honest. I'm afraid to effect my business negatively. I'm afraid to lose my day job. I'm afraid to cuss. I'm afraid I'll hurt someone's feelings. What I realize now is that the best blogs are the honest blogs, the blogs people can relate to.
I'd like to think I don't care what people think of me but then I realized that is just an excuse to not participate. If I don't participate people can't think I'm stupid. I can't fail. This is a horrible way to live.
If I tell everyone my goals, and I can't reach them, I will feel bad. No one likes to feel bad, but most "successful" people fail many many times. Failure is where we learn.
This is a big one for me. I don't like talking to strangers. I don't like asking for anything, from movie tickets to a raise. Most of my friends and family know I will gladly let them step in and do it for me. I think this is a result of my fear of rejection and failure.
I have a hard time letting anyone do anything I can do myself (except talking to strangers). But I find myself without enough time in a day to do everything. If I'm going to run BeBe Babies like a business I'm going to need help. I have to find that help and let go.
I eventually got on the loop-de-loop roller coaster. I can do this too. I'm not going to just think about this anymore either.
Special new design for a good friend. She is a draft stopper and will be fighting the cold in an old drafty window.